Jessie Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest
by Angie J Trifid
Summary: One-shot I wrote because Toy Story 3 spoofed One Flew Over the Cuckoo's nest. TS3 SPOILERS! Jessie comes up with a plan but gets caught trying to escape, and her punishment makes Buzz feel guilty. Based off a scene from OFOTCN; parody of said scene... R


**A/N: Okay, first off, I don't own anything.**

**Second, this story contains spoilers.**

**Thirdly, I came up with this because part of Toy Story 3 was taking the mickey of a film called One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest.**

**Also, you'll have to excuse the lousy title, because I've got school in the morning and I'm too lazy to think of anything better.**

The basket Jessie was in got pushed back and she started pacing, trying to think. Woody always had a plan. What would he do in this situation? He would fix Buzz, first off, and then he'd escape. But how? There had to be some way.

First she'd have to get out of the basket. That was simple – she just needed to cause some trouble. Then what? Get out of being put in The Box. All she'd have to do for that was fight.

Somewhere there must be a whole load of instructions books. That'd tell her how to reset Buzz. After that, escape should be simple. Jessie kicked something, trying to think of a way to get in trouble.

It was a gum wrapper that still had a little gum in it that somebody had missed. Jessie put some of the gum in her mouth. Then she tore off some of the wrapper, wrapped the rest of the gum in it, and pocketed it.

Now what?

Jessie walked to the front of the basket, where she could see Buzz patrolling. She needed to get on his nerves. It was that simple – but she wasn't sure how. Woody would always know; Woody always knew what to do. Jessie sat down cross-legged, took off her hat and put on Woody's hat instead, trying to think like he would.

Oh, of course! Why hadn't she thought of it before? She grabbed the bars of her makeshift prison cell, replacing her hat, and shouted at Buzz.

"Hey! You stupid space toy!" she yelled. "What the hell do y'all think you're doin'! You traitor!"

Buzz turned to face her.

"Yeah, you! You think y'all're so dang cool with your glowing armour and your stupid –!"

"Silence!" Buzz shouted forcefully, storming over to the basket. "Be warned, evil temptress, that you have no authority in Star Command."

Jessie hit her forehead mockingly. "Oh, stupid me! I forgot about this stupid Star Command! How could I forget?" she pretended to think. "Oh, that's right. _It doesn't exist!_"

"You dare question the existence of the very organisation that has captured you and your evil-doer accomplices!" Buzz was furious. Yes! It was working!

"Yeah, I do!" Jessie shouted. "Whatcha gonna do about it, Space Boy?"

Buzz called in the Big Baby to take Jessie to The Box. She definitely had to escape soon, because she was still terrified of dark, enclosed spaces. But not yet. If she tried to get away before she was even out of the building, she'd be recaptured again for sure. She had to wait. So she went quietly, her head hung, as though she was anticipating some horrible event. _There. That should stop them suspecting anything._

"Jessie, no!" it was Mrs Potato Head.

"You can't do this to her!" Rex yelled.

"That's enough!" Buzz shouted. For half a crazy second, Jessie actually turned round, thinking he'd rush Big Baby and save her. But her face fell as she remembered he'd been switched to Demo Mode, and she realised he was talking to the others. They argued back but he simply threatened to have them sent to The Box, too.

Jessie allowed herself to be carried out, into the crisp, cold night. The full moon shone brightly, a single eye encouraging her; watching over her. But there were still too many guards around. She had to escape at the exact right point in time – which would, undoubtedly, be just as Big Baby was about to put her in the box.

Four yards to go now…

Three more yards…

Two…

One…

Jessie put as much power as she could into the kick. Big Baby let go of her, shocked and winded from the blow to the gut, but straightened up again. This time Jessie caught the large baby doll in the side, knocking it over; stunning it. She ran around the edge of the wall, toward the side of the building, where there was a ventilation shaft. That would be the safest – and probably the _only_ – way to get around undetected. Grabbing the branches of a nearby tree, Jessie swung up until she was level with the shaft, which she figured she could just about squeeze into – if only she could reach the dang thing!

Toy guards were running over to where she was now. Oh no – she hadn't anticipated this. Now what? Jessie spun on the spot, looking around desperately for some way to escape. The only thing to do was get to the shaft. She had to jump for it. She ran to the edge of the branch at full speed. Leapt into the air. Reached out.

Her fingers caught the edge of the shaft, but she couldn't get a grip on it. She was slipping! No, _no, NO!_ _I can't get caught! I don't want to go in The Box!_ But she lost her grip at the last second and fell… if she hit the ground, she'd be killed… she closed her eyes –

But nothing happened. Jessie opened her eyes and realised somebody had caught her. Uh oh. It was that purple octopus – what was his name again? It didn't matter really; all Lotso's goons were the same to her. The octopus grabbed her around the waist, pinning her arms to her sides, and put her feet back on the ground. But struggle as she might, Jessie couldn't get free. Not this time.

The group of goons parted and there he was. The big guy himself. The head bandit. Lotso.

Lotso was a pink teddy bear who smelled like strawberries and was the nastiest thing any toy had ever met. He walked with a little sort of cane and ran the Sunnyside Day Care Centre.

"Why hello there, little miss Jessie," Lotso said. Jessie wrinkled her nose. "You sure've got some courage trying to get out like that. You showed some pretty good initiative; strong will power. I can appreciate that in a toy, I really can."

"Quit your yappin', yah big-headed –" Jessie began to speak, but Lotso calmly cut her off. Which was probably all for the best, because Jessie couldn't think of a word – not even a swear she'd heard Andy say – bad enough.

"Now, now, missy," the bear said. "You might want to hear me out. You see, we here can't have toys escaping, because then, we'd have chaos on our hands. So I'm going to make you an offer. I'm going to give you the chance to join us."

There were shocked, horrified mumblings, but Lotso spoke to the toys.

"Now, listen up, you lot," he said. "We can't have people thinking we're prejudice now, can we?" he turned back to Jessie. "So what do you say?"

Making sure the gum was stuck to the roof of her mouth, Jessie spit on the ground at Lotso's feet. Then she used her tongue to unstick the gum, because it wasn't very comfortable. Lotso shook his head.

"I see," he said. "Looks like we're going to have to give somebody else a little… attitude adjustment. C'mon, boys."

The goons dragged a struggling Jessie into a small room. There was a chair in the middle, underneath a blinding spotlight. Jessie figured this must be where they had switched Buzz to Demo Mode.

"Move that chair!" Lotso shouted. "I think we'll have to do _this_ the old-fashioned way."

Two toys moved the chair and replaced it with what looked like an operating table. One of the toys told Lotso something about it taking a while to get a strong enough electrical charge. Lotso was annoyed, but he said he could wait. He called in Buzz and made him guard Jessie while she waited outside. Buzz sat down but looked tense, ready to jump up if Jessie tried to escape. The cowgirl sat against the wall and took the rest of the gum out of her pocket. Buzz turned round quickly and pointed his 'laser' between her eyebrows.

"I'm just gettin' some gum out," Jessie said, holding up the small package to show Buzz it wasn't harmful.

"How do I know that substance isn't manufactured to control minds?" Buzz demanded, raising an eyebrow. Jessie gave him a you've-got-to-be-kidding look.

"Do yah _really_ want to risk it?" she asked. Buzz examined her face for a moment.

"How do you know it's not controlling _your_ mind?"

Jessie stifled a laugh. "Controlling my mind to do what?"

"Whatever Zurg tells you," Buzz shrugged. "You are a very pretty woman, and I don't believe it's right for somebody to be used that way."

"I think I'll risk it," Jessie shrugged. She made to put the gum in her mouth, but Buzz stopped her by grabbing her wrist.

"I should try it," he said. "To make sure nothing will happen to you."

Jessie ripped off a piece of gum and gave it to the space ranger. He held his breath and pushed the purple button on the side of his helmet that flipped it back. Then he put the gum in his mouth and flipped the air helmet back up.

She put what remained of the gum in her mouth. Buzz seemed a little more relaxed now. Jessie almost considered making a break for it, but she knew she'd just get caught again.

The door opened and one of Lotso's henchmen dragged Jessie into the room. Buzz stood up, too, but they closed the door and locked him out.

Jessie was strapped to the operating table and a couple of henchmen had to hold her down. One of them removed her hat and put what looked like a pair of slightly small earmuffs on her head. They didn't cover her ears. Another flipped a switch and uncountable volts of electricity shot through her head.

Buzz stood outside, listening to the red-haired captive's screams. His eyes dropped to the floor. She didn't deserve that, no matter what she'd done. Nobody did; not even Zurg himself deserved what was happening to the girl called Jessie. He quickly returned to his station, feeling like he'd walked ten thousand miles in the rain all at once. The prisoners hissed words like "Traitor" and "Moron" and "Jerk" at him. Funny; that was how he felt.

After a few minutes, a beam of light crossed the floor. In came the henchman Ken, holding the cowgirl's arm as he walked her back to her basket. She was walking slowly, one awkward step at a time, as though she was still learning to walk. Her green eyes were dull and unfocused. Buzz felt his hands curl into fists. It wasn't right, doing this to people.

Ken walked away once he made sure Jessie was sitting in her basket. Buzz pushed it back against the wall but held on to the bars. Jessie winked at him. "See? Nothin' happened to me."

That was what the gum was useful for. Instead of frying her brain, the electricity had been absorbed by the gum, which she stuck to the back of the basket.

Buzz narrowed his eyes at the girl. She had tricked him into thinking something awful had happened to her! She probably would try and trick him about other things, too. He felt hostile towards the captive and marched off.

Bulls-eye, the horse, whinnied. Jessie petted his nose. "Oh, Bulls-eye," she said. "I miss Woody, too."

**A/N: Please review, but no flames.**

**Thanks for reading!**


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